What does "Retarded" sounds like to native speakers in terms of offensive language?

There's a difference between a word being offensive because it's profane (a "swear word," like asshole or shit) and a word that's an offensive slur that degrades a group of people. These days, "retarded" is heavily looked down upon as a slur, even when not referring to a person. "Swear words" are becoming more acceptable, especially amongst adults and teenagers, where slurs are becoming less acceptable amongst almost everyone, but a few people still use them.

When I was a kid, it felt about as insulting as “stupid” or “asshole”. That’s my subjective interpretation of how offended I felt if I was called it, as well as my memory of how angry I was if I was throwing it around at others. Which, I did. It was the 90’s. But today, greater awareness of the word’s history and usage has made me recalibrate this internal sense. It’s now a word I haven’t used in a long time.

I think it's well to the ugly side of the line.  I don't much like stupid either.   "asshole" is fine with me 😋.  it's rude, but it's not belittling.  nobody is in any danger of being a literal asshole so I'm willing to call people that.  "retarded" is a bit different because it feels like taking something that actually happens to people, that they cant help and that doesn't deserve to be insulted ... and making a slur out of it.  it's a by-assocoation insult to a whole group of people.   "stupid" irritates me, because it's usually just a lazy way of saying "I don't like that."

Don't use it. It's a pretty strong insult. A few decades ago, it was a decently common insult, but it has fallen out of favor pretty hard. There are "neutral" uses of the word, but they are specifically technical terms. Like "flame retardant material" which would be material that resists fire or slows the spread of fire through it. But those are very specific uses.

It's very offensive. I would actually gasp if I heard it used here these days. I don't know what kind of kids' shows you're watching but I hope they're older, from a time when the word was more acceptable. It's much worse than stupid or even asshole. Those words aren't kind but they don't denigrate an already marginalised group of people.

it actually makes me sick to hear it. i consider it as bad as a racial slur. i used to use it myself as a kid but once i learned more about disability and the history of the word i couldn't justify keeping it in my vocabulary. when i hear an adult use it i lose respect for them, because to me it shows a lack of understanding and compassion.

It’s a slur which is somewhat different than just an insult or offensive word. It’s an insult used toward an oppressed class of people that can also be used as a more general insult. It’s always offensive to the oppressed class of people even when the insulted person doesn’t actually belong to that group. Like other slurs, in the US someone might say it if they’re the kind of person who doesn’t believe that oppression of groups of people is real or isn’t important. There are definitely people going around saying the f slur, n slur, and this word just as commonly as other insults. Among other groups of people, it’s thought of as much much worse than regular insults like asshole and isn’t used at all. It’s not a word you should use. You might see it used as a regular word if you’re reading something from the 1980s or older. In the 90s it was an insult but generally a lot less offensive than it is today. This probably varied a lot by location and class though.

The r-word is not acceptable in any way. It's not a joke or casual swear like shit or ass, it's extremely offensive and do not EVER use it. It's ableist.

I would say it is generally trending toward a more offensive term. But Reddit isn’t a great example of how accepted or unaccepted it is overall

Native U.S. speaker here, honestly it’s not that bad at all over where I grew up. Just another way to say “stupid” but there’s not really that old correlation to mentally disabled people. I only found out that you can’t say retarded because a friend was shocked about me saying it out loud. If you ask me personally, I’d say feel free to use it anytime something or someone is stupid, dumb, or idiotic. But if I were you, I’d take the 100 other opinions that say it is offensive and not to say it at all over mine.

The R word isn’t exactly a swear word, it’s bordering on a slur (similar to the N word). Calling someone a Bitch would be seen as much better than calling them R**** because many people consider it a slur nowadays so I’d just not use it at all.

UK, extremely offensive, never acceptable. > If someone says to you "You are retarded" They'll lose their job, or be banned from the location, or have their social media account removed. >what situation do you expect yourself in to say someone is "retarded"? Absolutely never.

It’s a slur for people with cognitive or intellectual disabilities, developmental disorders, different neurotypes, neurological disabilities, and other disabilities that may impact a person’s actual or perceived intellectual or social capacity. It’s bad enough that it’s sometimes described (if someone is talking about the word itself) as “the R slur.” In the past, as recently as 30 years ago, it was a medically descriptive way to indicate that someone had cognitive disabilities. If you see or read it in something from that era and it’s being said with malice, it’s intended to be a rude way of calling someone an idiot, but if it’s said in a way where the character seems to be using it descriptively then they mean it in a medically descriptive way.

So, there is a spectrum of words like "stupid" and "asshole" where the offensiveness is mostly a question of situation. Is this word appropriate in tone for the current circumstances? You can jokingly call your friend an asshole for stealing the last cookie; you probably cannot call your coworker an asshole for a similar offense. There is also a spectrum of words, like the race-specific one you've mentioned, that typically get censored because using them reflects on the speaker. Someone who uses a racial slur not only insults people of that race, they announce themselves as a racist who can't even be bothered to put a polite face on their bigotry. The word you've asked about falls into the second category. It's a slur used to describe people with cognitive disabilities. Using it is not only offensive or insulting to people who have such disabilities (and those who care about them), it's announcing to the world that you perceive such people as less than fully human. If you don't want to make that announcement, you shouldn't use that word.

As others have said, it’s a slur rather than a swear word. Swear words can be offensive depending on the word and context, but generally speaking, it’s societally acceptable to use swear words in an appropriate context because they don’t target a particular group. To use the example you gave, “asshole” doesn’t target a specific group of people or discriminate against a protected characteristic. Slurs are words that target a minority group, and it’s not acceptable to use them unless you’re part of the group the word targets. R-tard falls under this category because it’s used to discriminate against people with learning disabilities. Before we had our current understanding of learning disabilities, people would often get a generic diagnosis of “mentally r-tarded”, and this could lead to institutionalisation, poor health and social care provisions and being excluded from society. It’s seen as dehumanising and using it implies that having a learning disability is something to mock or see as lesser. If you’re hearing it in TV shows, I would guess those TV shows are older, and were made before the word was widely considered offensive, because not all that long ago it was considered acceptable in general society to exclude people with learning disabilities and it was seen as something shameful or to laugh about. Often, even once we have a better understanding of minority groups and the appropriate way to treat people within these groups, old and outdated language sticks around for a lot longer before it starts to be viewed as unacceptable and discriminatory, which is what has happened with this particular word.

Yeah, as others have said, it’s definitely become a pretty offensive word to call people. It was very, very common when I was growing up in the 90s-00s, but it’s fallen heavily out of use. That said, I personally wouldn’t take offense if a friend called me retarded. I do still hear people use the word every once in a while, but it would be very inappropriate in professional settings as well as in many personal settings. I don’t call people retarded, but I’ve been guilty of *occasionally* calling situations retarded when venting to close friends about something that I’m really upset about. I feel like it can come out if I’m speaking faster than I’m thinking, but I always feel bad when it does!

I'd categorize offensive words like this into three categories: slightly rude, significantly rude, and slurs. Slightly rude words like shit, crap, dick and others are going to be ok around kids. Significantly rude words like asshole, fuck, and bastard can be used rudely, or with friends who find it funny. Slurs are words that are bigoted and are cruel to a specific group of people. The word you're asking about, often called the r-word, and others like the n-word are not used by most people because using slurs goes beyond rudeness to being deliberately hateful to an innocent group of people. As we're talking about swear words, it's important to note that the word cunt is considered a slur in the US, but is used as a rather common significantly rude word in most other English-speaking countries including the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand.

It should be on par with the n-word - most disabled people have asked over and over again for people to stop using this word and for a long time it was becoming taboo but now people online have started using it again and it’s truly sickening to see. It’s a word that has been used medically and socially to harm and oppress disabled people, especially those with obvious learning disabilities or conditions like Downs Syndrome. Do not use it.

I'm from the UK. Growing up as a teen in the early 90s people said "retarded" without giving it much weight. Like many other slurs we used as teens, I (and I think most people) didn't think much of what the words actually meant, you just say what everyone else says when you're that age. It was not considered a hard word. Nowadays, however, it's considered very offensive, so outside of some specific social circles it wouldn't be used at all (for example, a group of stockbrokers of my age range, at the pub, wouldn't think much of it as they're used to insensitive language; a group of footballers might use it in private; etc). I'm not condoning this, I'm just telling you the reality. I would definitely advise you not to use the word though.

Bad word, best avoided. A good rule of thumb is "if elon musk uses it, it isn't good".

When I was a child in the 1970s, mentally retarded was the clinical description/diagnosis for a certain level of intellectual impairment. Doctors used it. Teachers used it. But it had already started being used by intellectually typical kids, against each other, and as that got worse it just became unusable in any circumstances. The current correct terminology is Intellectual Disability (ID). I still hear the r-word being used rudely occasionally, but it’s entering n-word territory and you should just never use it at all. This kind of thing is in a different category than profanity.

That's not a word I use in any context, period. Frankly I'm a little uncomfortable using terms like "flame retardant". I've blocked people over their use of the word.

When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, it was just a silly word, derived from the then-clinically-accepted term "mentally retarded". Not really offensive, but like saying someone or something is dumb or stupid. Now it is considered much more offensive than it used to be.

Native speaker from the US here. It would never be appropriate to say this word, as it's comparable to racial slurs or other slurs based on identity or ability. There isn't a time where it would be used as a joke or in a lighthearted way. However, this has been the case only relatively recently for mainstream culture. Even ten years ago, this word might have been heard on TV and in typical conversation much more frequently. As people begin to understand that this word, and other slurs, can cause harm to others it has been phased out of most social settings, entertainment, and so on. Don't use it, or you'll risk greatly offending someone or at least looking like an asshole without a lot of social awareness.

I’ve never actually used it. Not part of my lexicon. I wince whenever I hear others use it.

The time and place I grew up R-tard and Faggot were both very commonplace , generally not something you'd say outside of anger or intentionally trying to insult someone.

There is one appropriate way to use this word, and it is not in regards to people. That said, if you use the word around people who are not familiar with mechanical/engine work, they may not realize what you're on about. To "retard" an engine means to adjust the timing so the signal to fire the sparkplug is delayed, it changes the operating conditions of the engine. (To indicate you need the plugs to fire early you say "advance the timing"). This is due, in part, to the fact that "to retard" simply means "to slow down or delay" something. Unfortunately, it was used as a slur against people with developmental disabilities for many decades, in particular during an era where mental disabilities were not recognized for what we now understand them to be. These days you may hear it used in specific, isolated social contexts between two people who already know each other well, but it is unusual to hear the term thrown around as insults in public between (for example) a bus driver and an angry passenger. I do not recommend you use the term at all unless you are a mechanic who works on engines, and then only use it to talk about adjusting the engine performance.

I live in Saint Louis Missouri. It is considered unacceptable and highly offensive to people who work in schools especially but is still heard by others. I work in an office setting and hear it from time to time. It is most commonly used by people who live or grew up in rural areas and did not attend college. They have had less exposure to disabled individuals and therefore are likely not close enough to someone who would be affected by this word. That doesn’t give an excuse, it’s 2025 and the word is not acceptable.

I have a cousin who was diagnosed with "mental retardation" decades ago. She doesn't speak and can't do much of anything without help. The word is considered highly offensive because it's referencing a specific group of people in a negative way. People used to use it interchangeably with the word "stupid", but views in society have changed. The difference between calling someone "stupid" and calling them the R word, is that the first one only insults whoever you're talking about and the second one is considered an insult to people who are mentally challenged as well. It's like you're calling mentally challenged people stupid. I would not use the word you're asking about in any context.

Never use it in its literal meaning and when talking to friends I'd opt for the less offensive 'slow' or some other alternative

As the father of a special needs child, you're risking at MINIMUM a strong rebuke if you use that word lightly.

eh…I’m going to say something different than most of the comments. I hear the word often in circles of younger people, extremely often online/in videogames, and occasionally with older people. There is certainly a strong demographic that will react negatively to the word and treat it as a slur, almost, but it is often used as a substitute for “slow”, “dumb” or “stupid”, sometimes in a sarcastic or humorous manner. I see it used most often (and occasionally use it myself) while playing videogames and on forums. I do not say it in real life (except with family/friends) out of worry that someone would react harshly. I’d avoid it in real life, and if you feel like it, online as well. Keep in mind that reddit is often extremely reactionary with this sort of stuff in a way much of the general population is not. It’s not as terrible as most people are making it sound, in my experience. Obviously, do not use it to describe a disability. I welcome the downvotes 😅

An adult probably wouldn't be able to say that in most contexts without being judged for it.

In the U.S., it’s actually getting close to being similar to “cunt” or even the “n-word,” depending on what social circles you are operating in. It would definitely not be acceptable in most professional settings. Even among friends, most people will probably avoid using that word these days. It is generally considered to be seriously offensive. But of course, there are still areas where I’m sure some people feel comfortable saying it (within extremely close, private friend groups, etc) but I have definitely seen a very large reduction in the usage of that word. When I was growing up in the 90s, it was used quite commonly. These days, it is not really widely considered socially acceptable to use it.

It's something a good deal of people use casually (at least online), but a lot of people have strong feelings about; there are fairly popular movements by disabled people that are opposed to the word. It's considered stronger than 'stupid' or 'asshole', it's specifically meant to imply some sort of mental disability (literal or otherwise). In general, I would just avoid using it. At the same time, like with many slurs, there are neurodivergent (autistic/ADHD/etc.) people who are generally the targets of such slurs who use it themselves to reclaim it.

The way I would describe it is that it's a more severe form of words like stupid, idiot, dumb, moron, et cetera. Idiot and dumb both have extensive discriminatory history in and of themselves, but ''retarded'' is considered the most severe. It's like how people consider the 'hard' N word to be worse than the 'soft' n word. If I had to hazard a guess as to why, it's probably something to do with the word ''retarded'' having medical history. Disabled people were labeled as dumb and idiots all the time, but ''mental retardation'' was a literal, actual diagnosis, and carries with it a history of medical abuse and discrimination. It's more institutionally based, as opposed to just a case of laypeople being jackasses.

It is difficult because there are several scenarios where retard or retarded or perfectly valid words to describe moving something backwards for example "we retarted the gearing by 2 degrees and found that firing before top dead centre showed an 11% power increase" Because of the negative connotions of the word it is less likely to be used. See also gay and cretinous.

I think this is something that differs person to person. For some, especially those it is used against, it is heavy and demeaning. It evokes memories of bullying and abuse. For others it is a lighthearted insult. For others again, they use it because it isn't as acceptable as 'asshole'. They knowingly break the rules because they think it is funny to do so.

It's now considered very offensive but this is quite a recent development. You'll still find it in media from the 90s and 00s, used to mean "stupid" or "idiotic". Retarded along with some other slurs to refer to disabled people were heavily in vogue when I was at school 20 years ago in England. I wouldn't use it nowadays, least of all directed at a person. The definition in the screenshot, marked "dated", is the old medical definition - in the mid to late 20th century "retardation" used to be given as a formal diagnosis for various developmental disorders. Nobody under 80 would use it literally in that context today, mostly it's just used as an insult. The words "idiot" and "imbecile" have a similar history but the medical senses of those two are so old they've basically been forgotten.

The thing with slurs is that it implies 2 things : "The group of people refered to by the slur is inferior and it is justified to mock them" "I consider the thing or person i use the slur on to be on the same level as that inferior group"

When I was a kid, it was used mostly as a slang for stupid, and people barely thought twice about it. I remember eventually being told there are actually mentally challenged people that the term retarded applies to without meaning "stupid." It took me a few years to realize that it could be seen as offensive. I never considered what I was saying to be derogatory to anyone. It was simply a part of my common slang. About the time people were starting to get upset about using "gay" as an insult, or worse, f*g, this word also slipped out of the standard lexicon and became more publicly shamed. I definitely watch the word morph from common every day slang into something I hesitate to even type because I don't want to offend someone (more that I like making people's days better, not worse, and use of certain words can do either thing). As someone else mentioned, it's not a swear. It's a derogatory term that is used to insult an entire group of people while also insulting an unrelated individual (or some other thing). It's on the same level to me as using gay as an insult, but not as bad as using racial slurs. It's far worse than saying something i dumb or stupid. In fact, I'd rather hear someone say it's fucked up than to call it retarded. A swear, even a strong one (with a couple unique exceptions), isn't meant to offend an entire group of people in the same way a slur is.

Don’t say it.

now the word is considered a slur against people with disabilities. i've worked as a caregiver for adults with disabilities and i have seen how it hurts people. the word used to be taken lightly but most people are avoiding it now

Nowadays yes, it is quite offensive. Many people consider it a slur.

Retarded is interesting, because the origin and original use of the word is much less offensive than the current stance on the word would suggest. Retardation is a perfectly valid word meaning to slow or delay the progression or development of something. It’s used in science still (albeit less) and was a genuine medical term. The issue I believe is two fold. 1. The original definition and use of the word has become outdated. Mental medicine has progressed far beyond that of when retard was first used. Many of the attitudes and even treatments of the time are severely outdated. And so it follows that retard would follow the same course 2. Use in society. The word evolved in use from a medical term to an insult for some intellectually disabled people. Its use in this context dragged it away from its original meaning, and into that context. Society has shifted away from that attitude and now sees it as very offensive. And so retard has rightfully been left behind. I’d put it just below the N word. Not a word that you could use around strangers without an adverse reaction. A word absolutely forbidden in some contexts. And while I wouldn’t use it, you could use it in some contexts with people you know well where the context and meaning is not ambiguous.

It would sound like someone who was trying to be edgy, and was actually deeply immature and stupid. What separates the r-word from other slurs is that it was especially common among pre-teen boys several years ago because it’s not technically a ’swear word’ as such. So if I heard an adult say it today I would start to wonder if they hadn’t ever learned anything past the age of 12. Probably the closest comparison is using ‘gay’ as an insult, but while there is a positive meaning of gay, that isn’t the case here.

You'll get a lot of opinions about this but I'd put it in the territory of words you probably shouldn't be saying.

Ah isn’t neutral in the US…you definitely can’t say on children’s tv. (I’ve actually only used it to refer to one person & that was when I first started cursing) But it’s an insult not a slur… r is a slur…but it used to be a normalized until fairly recently (definitely seen as descriptive in 80s) so the older someone is the higher the chance they think it’s fine..

We use it on the daily

It is a slur. Speaking as a physically and developmentally disabled person, I've had this thrown at me more times than I can count, always from people who think I'm lesser than them for being disabled. These were not casual comments either, they were often shouting/screaming, and most recently included physical assault. For context: I'm visibly disabled and have to use the elevator. I got on a public elevator and a woman with a suitcase pushed her way on next to me, despite there being plenty of room. I asked her to step back and give me space (politely), and she started screaming at me, calling me r*tarded and other things, then slapped me across the face and spit at me. Some people online will tell you this is not a slur, just an insult, but that's incorrect. It's functionally (and actively) used as a slur against disabled people, the same way n***r is used as a slur against black people. Also, towards other curse words--many depend on context and location (geographically) for how severe they are. For example, fuck or asshole can be casual between friends if the context is right, but can also be serious insults if said in anger or to strangers. Similarly, cunt is always seen as a strong insult in North America, but not in some other English speaking areas (I think Australia is one?). Slurs, on the other hand, are always serious insults and have a degree of prejudice attached (racist, ablist, homophobic, etc). Though it's important to note that some slurs have been reclaimed by the communities they're used against (like fag/slut/etc), in which case it's only acceptable to use if you yourself are part of that group (ex- a gay man using the term fag).

It's a slur. It's one of the slurs that doesn't get censored as much as others, but it's a slur. Up until the Obama administration, "Retard laws" allowed people to take away your legal rights by having you declared legally retarded - the most visible case of this is Britney Spears, who spent over a decade under the control of her father: forced to work, unable to control her own money, and forced on birth control, among other things. Spears was only able to break free as a result of a significant effort by a segment of her fans that pressured a judge into considering her case - most people trapped under those laws don't get that chance. Oh: those laws are still there - they're just not called "Retard laws" any more. Obviously mentally disabled people are one of the few groups more likely than African Americans to be shot by cops (god help you if you are obviously mentally disabled AND Black). They're more likely to end up homeless than any other group in the US. And the US legal system doesn't protect them.

I only use it to describe other drivers on the road

Anyone still using the R word pejoratively is a piece of shit. Straight up. It’s 2025.

Retarded was introduced by development experts as a technical term. Kids picked it up as a way of teasing one another or making jokes. The experts invented a different term and now say retarded is a slur. In my experience most people don't seem offended to hear it. Some people with disabled family or friends and some disabled people seem offended. But this seems to be something they were taught to be offended at by experts. Nonetheless beware someone in such a group may overhear and interrupt you to scold you if you use it. I would use it of animals behaving in a silly way, or of machines acting incorrectly. I would use it to describe anything that is laughably inept. It could be used of people but imo that is in bad taste. Maybe I am wrong to use it this way but most people seem to think it is funny used this way.

I am in my early twenties. For my entire life I’ve been told not to use this word, and everyone who did got strongly scolded for it. It wasn’t treated so much as a swear word but as a slur. Perhaps not as bad as the n-word, but in that realm. I still view it as such today, and I am extremely uncomfortable with people saying it (while other swear words I view casually.)

In the US retarded is generally interpreted as a stronger word for stupid. After many campaigns, people have been told not to use it because it's viewed by people with mental disabilities as denigrating, since the word originally was coined as the PC way to talk about people with severe learning disabilities and mental disabilities that affect their intelligence. The original meaning is more like delayed. But it's come to just mean extra stupid. It stings a bit more when someone called you retarded than when someone calls you an idiot or stupid. But generally people have been using it less and less because of the campaigns to limit its usage. It used to be ubiquitous, especially in gaming communities, but as people use it less and less the insult will probably sting even more when it's used, especially when using it to refer to those with mental/learning disabilities.

So there’s a difference between swearing (asshole, shit, fuck, bitch, etc) and slurs. Retard is a slur because it’s been taken from its medical context and used as a way to demean someone. Basically all slurs start off as a regular word that’s been twisted to be offensive with the purpose of putting another group down. But swears don’t have that association with groups

in the modern era, slurs are more offensive than swears. the r word is a slur, and a rather offensive one at that. it’s not funny offensive either, just offensive

It depends on the particular sensitivities of the person you’re dealing with. Not very long ago it would’ve been a very context dependent word similar to other words you mentioned. But nowadays a lot of people find the word very offensive because it has more of a connotation of describing REAL mental problems. “Stupid” or “moron” can still be offensive to people especially depending on context. It’s nowhere near the level of offensive as many words, and a lot of people do still use it in a light-hearted way; but I would say it’s a word that’s best avoided nowadays as it’s impossible to tell who will or won’t take offense to the word. Some people will be completely unfazed and some people will be incredibly offended, best to use a different word with a similar meaning to avoid potential conflicts.

Some people consider it a slur

The word is antiquated. It’s an old term to use to describe a person with damage to their brain or body. We now say intellectually disabled for brain and physically disabled for body. The word is a slur. It affects a group of people who are able to live normal lives and just happen to have disabilities. Just like other slurs, it attacks a marginalized group of people. Just don’t use it. Makes me flinch hearing or reading it. Think about Hawking next time and would you describe him this way? He was a genius with a physical disability. Doesn’t make his abilities less.

It is a generational thing. "Retarded" is an older term for Downes Syndrome or developmentally disabled. Younger folks, especially friends and relatives of Downes take offense. Oddly enough, I have heard paid caregivers use terms I would hesitate to use.

The headline is that you should assume it is pretty offensive, and not really acceptable to use, but as to how an individual will feel this is extremely dependent on who you are talking to and how "plugged in" they are.  When I was growing up, it was just a normal way to say stupid / idiotic. The first peeps about it being a bad word appeared when I was in my 20s. A decade later, I'm now well aware that it's a word I'm not meant to use, but it doesn't set off any unconscious "bad word alert", because I just wasn't raised that way. If you called me retarded, I'd react similarly to you calling me stupid. I have on many occasions called myself "fucking retarded" in my inner monologue. I can easily imagine that my mother hasn't yet realised it's a bad word (although I don't think it's a word she'd have used to begin with), and that my grandfather never got round to starting to use it and would shrug ruefully at the list of a thousand words he's no longer allowed to use even though English wasn't even his third language when he learned it in the 1950s.

It was used a lot when I was is high school, and I’ll be one of the few in this comment thread to admit I still use it, but only amongst my tight circle of friends. Not a word you want to say around people you don’t know very well.

When I was in high school ~10 years ago, “cunt” was arguably more offensive than the n word with the -a ending in my area. No one ever said “cunt”, but it was common for people to use the n word (again, only with the -a) ending with friends, both over text and in speech. Located in California, very “woke” area but a very low amount of Black people

I think right around the heavily offensive area. I’m kinda young so i don’t know much about the time when it was less serious or even a non-offensive and accepted term, but I do know that was a thing Side note: I know that the n-word and g-word were also the normal, accepted terms in the past, but we’ve since realized they suck. If someone says “that’s just what we called them so I’ll still say it,” which I believe is something I’ve heard before, I personally wouldn’t let that slide. The g-word was accepted when I was a kid, but since I was taught it’s a slur I stopped saying it because it’s not that hard to stop lol I wanna say it’s not as serious as racial slurs, but it is considered a slur that targets people with mental or learning disabilities

Depending on who you say it to and in what context, it could be anything from a look of disgust that you said it, to someone punching you in the face. The *only* times I've seen it used in what would be considered a socially acceptable way in the last couple of decades, has been scientific (e.g. the chemical reaction was retarded upon lowering the temperature), historical (e.g. references to a "Hospital for the Retarded" or other such named place), or a comedian who has a condition that would have previously been called "retardation" using it in a self-referential way. For non-native speakers, just avoid it out of safety.

Other commenters have explained the history better than I could, so I'll just throw my two cents in as more context. I was born in the early 1990s and grew up in Michigan (American Midwest). Classmates were throwing it around into my high school years (2008-2012). But I did have some awareness back then that it was MUCH more offensive than "stupid" or "idiot". Some people nowadays still say it because they're genuinely oblivious to all of this. And some people say it because they just don't care enough to remove it from their vocabulary, even knowing it's a slur. "Stupid" and "idiot" have their own complicated histories and can also be fraught, but generally in the US right now they're not considered nearly as offensive.

Idk how regional my experience is, but I've met a few people (old and young) who still use that word, albeit rarely. Everyone I've heard use it is very low class (financially) and they only ever use it to refer to themselves when making a stupid mistake or an arbitrary concept (like a law or rule that makes no sense), never another person.

People under the age of 30 or so decided not to use it anymore and call it a slur.

Fairly offensive. I'd advise against using it. It's mostly used by immature people trying to be edgy.

Don't let Americans tell you what English words you can use, the language does not belong to them.

It’s a word that makes the person using it look worse than the person they are referring to. Don’t ever use it.

Worth pointing out that different words carry different weight in different places speaking the same language. Several comments have indicated that this is becoming less acceptable in the modern day. I grew up in England, and I can assure you that this word was considered unacceptably offensive when I grew up in the 90s. For a similar situation of words carrying different weight in different places, in 2014 Weird Al Yankovic released the song Word Crimes, which included the word "spastic", that was still somewhat in use in the US at the time, but after release he learned from feedback how offensive it's considered in other English speaking countries, and he apologised.

If you used this word while speaking to me at my place of work, I would tell you that language is not appropriate. If you continued to say it, I would excuse myself and say I can no longer help you. I would never, ever be friends or friendly with anyone who used that word.

Definitely going to get downvoted here, but in contrast to many replies here, to most people, it’s really not that outrageous a word, to be honest. It can be heard almost every day in conversation. You certainly wouldn’t use it in a business meeting, nor would you use it in reference to somebody who is disabled (in which case that would be considered very offensive towards that person). But a lot of people use the word often, almost interchangeably with ‘very stupid’, if amongst people they know. Yes, it’s not nice, but neither is any offensive word if you look deeper into it.

Personally, I don't find it offensive. It means slow, so calling someone retarded just means slow or stupid. However, it's become associated with people with learning disabilities more than just generic stupidity even if I dont lersonally see it that way, so I understand why people find it offensive and don't use it.

I use it with people I know who know I'm not using it as a slur, but it's definitely not something you can just use anywhere. It's generally considered an offensive slur, like the n-word.