This feels like an odd sentence structure to me, is it correct?

Since I don't see an option to edit my post, I meant to write 'responsive' in my first example, not 'response', sorry! The correction was about writing 'the' instead of 'as' there.

The only issue I have is that "more time went by" is rather redundant. They could have left out "more." However, the author probably wanted to contrast "more" vs "less" in the sentence, and so while it's a worse sentence, it may be more effective at getting their point across.

I don't know whether it's ungrammatical, but I think you're right that it's awkward/not the most conventional usage. I think you're exactly right that it's combining half of two common constructions into one less common one. If I heard someone say this I'd parse it fine, but I'd edit it if I came across it in writing. I feel like it may be violating a rule, but I'm having trouble articulating what it is. I think it has something to do with the fact that "as X," should introduce an clause that is grammatical in isolation, and "the less responsive he became" is not a grammatical independent clause in isolation, since it violates fixed word order rules. Edit: After some research, I can report that the more blank/the more blank construction is called "[the comparative correlative](https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-comparative-correlative-grammar-1689769#:~:text=In%20grammar%2C%20a%20comparative%20correlative,.%20.%20the%20Y%2Der)". I disagree with other commenters who say this is totally fine. It's \*understandable\*, but as per the very end of that link, you really need the word "the" to trigger the comparative correlative and justify the violation of normal English fixed word order.

Yeah, I would've said it with 2 "the"s for parallelism, but I get what she's saying. Not sure the context, but it could just be a case of getting emotionally flustered midway through recalling the event she's narrating.

Your first example is incorrect, but the second one works. Regarding the image, the grammar and structure works well.

in your first sentence, response does need to be a verb instead of a noun, as that's the action that he's doing to make it flow well. Your second sentence is fine.

You're right except for writing 'response' instead of 'responsive' in your first sentence.

Just reading it, it flows normally and makes sense to me. I see what you mean, and your alternative sentences may be more technically grammatical, the sentence itself doesn’t seem wrong to me.

this is pretty odd yeah but it does still make sense. your rewrites are correct

Ignoring your obvious typo, the + the (not as + the) is a classic the/the comparative. The longer I wait, the more impatient I become The subtitles would be better off as "As more time went by, he became less responsive". 100%, good job. ​

Normally "the less" is used directly after a phrase starting with "the more": > But the more time went by, the less responsive he became. It does look incredibly awkward the way they've written it. I'd either go with the above or: > But as time went by, he came less (and less) responsive."

"But as more time went by, he became less responsive" sounds the most natural to me! However, the original sentence in the screenshot is still correct (even though it sounds a bit weird and frankly kind of reminds me of Yoda lol)

[using as…](https://www.grammar-quizzes.com/themore.html) Maybe you’re right, the second half should say “he became”, not “the more”

It looks like a mix of two ways of writing it. 1 But as more time went by, he became less responsive 2 But the more time went by, the less responsive he became That 'the more ... the less' is a standard formula but both parts of it are needed to sound right to my ears.

It sounds normal to me.

I see that you really meant “responsive” in your post. I feel like “the less responsive he became” would be better suited in writing, like a novel or movie script, but either way is grammatically correct. I think the way it is written puts emphasis on the statement, instead of just stating the fact.

It seems right because "But as more time went by, the less responsive he became" means that he became less responsive gradually while "But as more time went by, he became less responsive" would rather mean that after some time he just became less responsive.

It's not just your, it's very awkward. A better way to say out would have been, "But as more time went by, he became less responsive."

The original works fine and is correct. === But the more time went by, the less response he became. This doesn't work: A person can not be response. A person can be responsive. == But as more time went by, he became less responsive. This works. I'm not sure which I prefer, but they are both reasonable.

This is one of those things where I really had to stop and think. The truth is that I think you may be right, but it's a very subtle grammatical difference that I'm not sure I would have noticed without somebody pointing it out.

I agree with your body text

It definitely looks like something that was written to be read as opposed to something written as dialogue meant to be read aloud. "But as more time went by, he became less responsive" sounds more natural when spoken. That said, it could be a deliberate choice by the screenwriter to word it oddly, if the character is meant to sound that way.

It uses a passive sentence structure instead of an active one >The action was performed by him Rather than >He performed the action Both are grammatically correct

I agree. Either of the alternatives you gave are preferable.

If Yoda you are correct this sentence is. In other words it is technically correct but it conveys a feeling of being incorrect that is so vivid that it creates an unnecessary impediment to communcating. "But as more time went by, he became the less responsive" is a workable and non-yoda-esque option.

You are correct: the structure of this sentence is not ideal, but it is consistent with how English is spoken, and I suspect the awkward phrasing was intentional by whoever wrote the dialogue for that show/movie. A 'better' sentence would be, "But as time went by, he became less responsive." This is better because (a) it removes "more," which is redundant; (b) it appropriately stresses "less responsive" by putting it at the end of the sentence, and (c) it is more concise while conveying the exact same sentiment. Nonetheless, as described above, the sentence in your picture would be understood by native speakers and it would not seem unusual, and it may have been an intentionally suboptimal phrasing to emphasize the character's emotional state.

thats how I would say it

This is pretty common construction. People are mistaking "technically x would be more correct" with "this is incorrect." It isn't.