Couldn't agree more! 😂

Crazily enough excessively formal talk always makes me wonder if the person I'm talking to is a non native speaker.

If we're nitpicking, this is not a good use of "would". It should be "every foolish mistake I *may* make".

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner, I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world is simultaneously shaking their head and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as Grammar Nazis) from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make: lol

Sure. Every non-native English speaker is a master of the language. 🙄

while the native speaker - "yo, bro, for real, like, no cap, you got me fucked up"

native speaker: lol your funny

Keep in mind there's absolutely nothing "foolish" about not instantly understanding every nuanced context-dependant rule or style guideline in this byzantine language

Non-native speakers using very formal language is often just a sign that they haven't learned normal English yet. At school, we were taught a very formal, kind of outdated style. It was pretty useless for everyday conversations. Learning "regular" English is just as, if not more, complex and difficult and there are no textbooks for that. A non-native speaker who can hold a casual conversation with a native speaker is much more advanced to me.

Genuinely, half of the people I see apologise for their "poor English" online are better at it than most people I know in real life, here in Canada. The other half are at least doing a lot better than I do in my second language. 🤣

“… mistake I make” is a better option 

Is "tongue" correct in this case? I always thought that "language" was the correct word.

A big part of this simply comes down to the fact most language learning courses (for any language and not just English) usually focus on formal language and how to be polite first and foremost, letting the casual language come later down the line. This is because if you're trying to get help from a more experienced speaker one of the last things you'd want is to come off as dismissive or rude by using casual language in a situation where it's not appropriate.

English speaker: "k"

Verbose

Reminds me of the time when I first interacted with people on social media whose native language was English. I was asking a casual question about my Android tablet or something, and because I learned English by reading Jane Austen, I used phrases like "shed some light on", "can you enlighten me", or "profusely", things like that. They must have thought I was a pompous, pretentious asshole or something

Totally the case for many of my students!! However, reaching fluency is very doable with the right tools and training. If you're interested just hit me up on the chat. I’m an ESL teacher with 10+ years coaching individuals and corporations. Recently I put a doc together with the best free resources I’ve gathered during this time. Looking forward to connect with you!!

you forgor the second part native speaker: lol it okey